My Spiritual Journey

Guru Krsnaknows teaches that God is within me and outside me. My rumination of this teaching is quite visual. For me, comes as an image of a sort of all pervasive protoplasm of Spirit which rises and falls as everything. It rises inside and outside of everything. The shell of forms are the appearances. Of course, this is only an imagination of the Spirit. In a recent one on one satsang with the Master , Shri Krsna Guru was speaking of the God within when an awareness came to me. “I am nothing.” That which I think of as me is nothing, just a shell of form – the sheaths. From this awareness came a pang of emotion regarding this body. It is a little frightening, to give up the delusion that has been this life. It is not as though the body is leaving, it is definitely here. It is my attachment to this body that is leaving. And it is not sadness or mourning that I experience, but just an awareness. All of the bodies are God’s tools. My job is to navigate the path He has set for me...

Krsna Guru teaches me to understand the importance of my human birth. The human experience is one of suffering and that suffering is connected to the body itself. Even while in the womb there is suffering and once the child is expelled from the womb (even when born healthy), it is quickly and keenly aware of the worldly sufferings of hunger and environment. While many people believe the soul reincarnates and has birth after birth, after birth, not all of those people understand that rebirth as a human is rare. It is an opportunity to progress and learn the esoteric lessons to reach the Self. When one only sees himself as the body, he may experience incalculable sufferings between birth and death. But, liberation from worldly suffering can begin with just a spark, whereby Destiny gives you an inkling that there must be more to this life. Conditioning is passed from generation to generation starting at birth. The conditioning tells the child that he is only the child of his p...

KrsnaGuru’s lessons outwardly seem to be simple worldly life lessons, but the lessons are much deeper and profound. KrsnaKnows gave a lesson on what seemed on the surface to be about gift-giving, but in its depth, it was considerably more. His words were similar to these: Why don’t we always give the best to everyone? When sending items to a charity, sadly we may look to give that which we do not want. Maybe the item is old and out of fashion or maybe it’s somehow imperfect, yet we think we should give it away while keeping the newest and most perfect items for ourselves and those dearest to us. If you were giving away even a used garment, can you not give away the one you cherish most? If you were offering a gift to God what would you give? Our growth comes when we see all beings as the same–as the One God. When giving, always give the best that you can, and always give from the heart. Your gift doesn’t need to be the grandest on earth, it only needs to be your best offer...

KrsnaGuru teaches me to live in Faith. These blogs are of my personal journey and while I may often express a bright and cheery picture, there are those times when there is no light and I cannot find my way. My challenge on this path is to have Faith. And knowing this, His Maya stands ready to test me. For me, it can occur at a time when I feel there has been growth, then—BOOM! Just like that She rocks me. Just recently, She sent me spinning. Riding high the thought, “This is under control,” rose up. It all felt comfortable, and then in an instant, it all seemed to fall apart. The weight of my emotions seemed oppressive and any sense of clarity went away. Just that quickly it felt like everything had changed. For a couple of weeks, the energy and flow that I identify as my heart chakra had been waning and I began to entertain the idea that maybe my kundalini died, lol. This was not alarming in any way and I simply continued my practice. All was moving along fine. Guruji w...

KrsnaKnows teaches to become spiritually perfect one must have control of their mind. Time and again Guruji let me know that spiritual growth requires a controlled mind and through sadhana one can gain that control. For me, it began with first taking notice of my reactions to the outside world. All the ups, downs, and in-betweens were drawing a reaction from my mind. When some would speak, my mind would form an opinion. Next came noticing that people will go round and round on an issue even when there is really nothing happening. In addition, other people will join in and it just goes on and on. Then came noticing that in my own mind I was doing that very same thing, going round and round relentlessly on a given issue. The mind can entertain so many unreal scenarios full of what-ifs, one right after another. Only through my Guru’s Grace and His countless lessons was there finally an opening through which some knowledge seeped into my awareness. Armed with this understanding...

KrsnaGuru teaches that it is the mind that keeps us apart from God. How powerful is the mind? Take a moment to select any one object of focus, and now try to hold only that one object in your thoughts. Focus! With the exception of only a few people, most will have quickly moved from that object to many more in just moments. This happens when we try to focus on God, too. In the Satsang given by Guruji of the Srimad Bhagavatam ; Canto 11, Chapter 29, v37-v40; He clearly tells us it is the mind that is between us and God—between us and Truth. He states that we use the organs of the eyes to see, but our sight is tainted by the mind. We make judgments on everything we perceive. Can we practice to see without the mind? KrsnaKnows teaches that if you put God first and live in the world shielded by Him then you will not be deluded by His illusory power (Maya). This does not mean you live in a panaceaic bubble. It means you live in this world, but not of this world. Guruji states ther...

Leaving home we travel and we take a body once again. This is His caper which we enact; we are His troupe of thespians. The play is not without its framework. It is filled with spectacle and drama, comedy and tragedy. Nothing is beyond His ken! The game is afoot, this life is looming, and it all seems so real. So we traverse this existence in joy and pain of loss and gain. Each born in a province of his making, covered in our ignorance to what we truly are, not knowing we are His. We are moved by the impulsion of Time to find Truth, although we do not know what that Truth might be. It is just that the heart feels life is lacking. There is a void, an emptiness that the mundane can not relieve. Friends and family cannot assuage the profound compulsion to seek. So we accelerate in whatever direction we think will fill us. We gather people, status and things but what we need is to be empty. Empty of desire, empty of passion, empty of lust, greed and ...

KrsnaGuru teaches we are always Free. Much of my blog writings are directly from the lessons learned from my dear Guruji. The lessons are the ideal. The daily living of the lessons is not so clear and distinct. There is a vast difference between knowledge and experience. Reading, listening and even writing are knowledge-based. The “living” and “experiencing” of that knowledge is much more difficult. Can the lessons of my Guru be remembered in every moment? Can His lessons flow in my daily life?. Of course, my Dear Guruji would say that one needs to put forth Self-efforts, Faith, and Patience. Still, my path seems stagnated and I continue to wonder what is missing from my practice. Blessedly, today by His Grace an answer was given to me. The lack of flow is due to my narrow mind. On a long drive with my husband, I started to speak my conviction of God. It was in the telling that I heard the message. By holding on to my material life, I have kept myself in the narrow framework ...

KrsnaKnows teaches that thoughts, especially negative thoughts are the demons that move us away from our path. First, here is my understanding of Guruji’s lesson: There are so many thoughts, relentlessly passing through the mind. It takes practice to keep them in check. How does one practice being the controller of thoughts? Well, first one needs to pay attention to the action. Thoughts are so much a part of our existence and personality that we do not even notice them. The mind will create one thought and then lead us around until we have enough thoughts gathered to create a small story. And what is even worse is the story is not at all true, it only exists in the mind. Of course, we could actually use our thoughts in a constructive manner, but clearly those occasions are rare, particularly when one considers how many thoughts pass in the mind every minute, hour, day, week, year or lifetime. Once a thought is noticed, then one can choose to let that demon grow to huge heigh...

KrsnaKnows teaches that when you come to God or Guru with only Love and Devotion, you are irresistible to Him. Some people seek God because they want something. They have a need or wish to be fulfilled, so they pray to God and state their requests or come in person to the Guru. The benevolent Divine gives whatever one asks. He may not give it at that very moment, but somewhere in time, it has been sanctioned for that one. It’s hard to imagine that asking God or Guru, for what you think you need or know you want, could cause any issues. But if you have an understanding of karma, then you know there are three types, Sanchita, Prarabdha, and Kriyamana or Agami. By asking for something in this life, you can be adding to a treasury of karma that can influence the difficulties you may suffer in many lifetimes to come and can even keep you from obtaining liberation. If you read the ancient stories in holy books, people always asked and were given and it usually ended with them gaini...

Krsnaji teaches that one does not have to go very far to find God. The Divinity is within each of us. As seekers of Truth , we search for God outwardly far and near. Where is God to be found? One may go to church, or a temple or a park to find God, but is God there? If you were to listen to my Guruji’s satsangs online , surely you will hear a consistent mantra. Over and over, time and time again, Guruji tells us that God is within us. “God is within!” Everything that you think is God and everything that you think God is, dwells within each of us. We are unable to know God within because we are veiled by our mind and intellect and have been wrongly thinking we are just this human body. Even though I know these words, I have yet to live each day fully in that knowledge. So I ask, “What is the reason that this knowledge has not permeated the veil?” The answer is Shraddha and Suburi (Faith and Patience) . The answer is always Shraddha and Suburi. It’s Faith in my Guruji and hi...

KrsnaGuru teaches that spiritual growth will happen according to God’s timetable and not my own. What is the goal of a spiritual aspirant? Guruji teaches that a true spiritual aspirant does not come before God to ask for worldly favors. The true spiritual aspirant may seek God to gain moksha (dissolving into God), others may seek self-realization and liberation from samsara (the cycle of births and deaths). In my journey, I aspire to love God, know God in my heart and serve Him. In The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna , it is said, “Unless one has learnt to love God, one cannot realize Him.” My dear Guruji teaches the path of love and devotion (bhakti) . Nothing on the path is within my control and therein lies my pain. Much of my life’s pain has come from desire. Recently, I asked Guruji about the desire to know God, “is it still a desire that causes pain?” The answer was yes. “Desire, even toward the divine is still a desire.” In His teachings, KrsnaKnows explains that during the ...

KrsnaGuru teaches that by following the path of Love and Devotion , and by retaining our small ego, we can cry for God. For me, there is hardly a better expression of my love for the Divine . Sometimes the tears are blissful and sometimes the tears are of my deepest anguish. Separation makes me weep. Yet, seated at His feet I will still weep. The rising morning sun casts the sky in blue, pink and purple. The sky’s reflection on the lake makes me cry. God’s reflection in the world makes me cry. In the temple sanctum, a reclining Vishnu sleeps, when my eyes fall upon His feet my tears begin to fall. It is the tenderness of Divine Love that wells up in my heart and pours out of my body. From top to bottom, left to right, front to back—Love is experienced. With my heart on the Divine, melancholy plagues this body and so does elation. It hurts to feel deeply, but bliss is deep too. Union and separation are both pure Love. I have only to place my thoughts on Him. He’s here—...

KrsnaGuruji teaches we appear by design. A dream world of imagination Not my imagination, but His Each atom choreographed Moved according to His law This is His Divine play Appearing in the dream Moved along by Nature We get lost in the mind Never understanding Never questioning—what is real? And when Grace comes Knowledge overwhelms He shares His Love No understanding comes Now the question—what is real? His Grace is the teacher He teaches life’s purpose We learn to perform To serve His dream Perform from the heart, to please Within His Creation He comes to play Comes to keep it upright Comes to lift us, one by one He takes us back home Leaving the unreal behind Enveloped in Love's embrace He gives us new adventures We dive in deeply And appear anew—next dream

KrsnaGuruji bestows Grace and teaches the path of Love and Devotion From childhood, most are taught to gather knowledge, and it is a necessity that we gain some idea about the world in which we live. My mind still prompts me to gather more and more knowledge. But on this spiritual path, there is no way for me to cognize God by book knowledge alone and why should I? Guruji teaches a seemingly simple path of Love and Devotion. Seemingly, because this path still requires self-effort and the guidance of a Spiritual Master. One may say that he does not need such a Master, but know that it is through the Guru that one learns to bow the ego. It is difficult to know God when we ourselves take credit for His work. The Guru is a blessing in one’s life. My own experience under His guidance is that many aspects of my worldly life have become simplified. When my path first opened I did not have much time available for pursuing it. And through what is known to some as Guru’s Grace, things ...

Krsnaji teaches following a spiritual path can quickly make one a pariah. This is true in my life. Once this spiritual path opened, those around me quickly expressed opposition. Some expressed concern, as it was outside of the norm—some out of concern regarding my mental health, and others expressed opposition because stepping forward on my spiritual journey challenged their idea of who I am. The impetus to expand my knowledge and experience beyond the constraints of any previously held ideas had come. God has blessed me in this lifetime that I might know and understand His infinite Love. From the depths of my being came an unrelenting drive to seek God. My search has consumed the worldly me and appears selfish to family and friends, well, because it is. The inward journey to know oneself in God is a journey traversed by that one. As a child, my mother told me that in life, we are lucky to have one true friend, a friend for whom you would give up your own life. (My mother c...

Krsnaji teaches the highest Love. Guruji's lesson was about Love and how it binds one to the world. If your Love is confined to only those few you select or to those few who select you, then Love will limit you. When Love is shared unconditionally with all, then one is free. Can we free ourselves once entangled? Perhaps, but the cost is much pain for those who want to keep Love only to themselves. Love given freely without attachment and received in kind is never entangled and is always free. Is it possible to Love unconditionally without trying to make a quid pro quo transaction of it? Is it possible to Love without using that Love as ransom? Saintly beings like Mother Teresa graced this Earth with their unconditional, nontransactional Love for all. Mother Teresa Loved Jesus Christ and knew him to be present in everyone. Even when her own heart ached with longing for the Lord whom she Loved, she served all. By the words of my Guruji, the highest Love is Viraha Bhakti—Lov...

A single word causes tears to start Knows the nature of my heart Takes this ego apart It is the word by which I know you A single word seen in your eyes Knows the Light of the wise Removes all worldly lies It is the word by which I know you A single word catalyst of this quest Knows its home within my chest Where Love is professed It is the word by which I know you A single word fixed upon your feet Knows all beyond the sheath Roars and doesn’t bleat “Truth” is the word by which I know you

Born in light, grown in ignorance Ego has masked the Truth Enslaved by temporary pleasure Running from aversion Suffering is its only fruit Tied to this world, so familiar Whereby you know another And, are known to another by your ego alone Longing for God is obscured Ego drives and steers by fear To dominate and control Layers upon layers, it buries the Soul How can one drop the ego To be nothing and unknown Ego does not want to be examined It does not like awareness Cannot exist in the bareness Of being nothing Bewildered in the vast — Absolute Oh Ego, release this heart Know the One that is all Let the veil of ignorance fall Away, gently flowing down To reveal His Love unbound

No being can grant or take away what has always been Without a beginning and without end. There is no race, no competition, no win and no loss. Reprimands, beatings, praises or embraces The recipient and the donor are one. There is no telling another how to live. Each has their own place — The beggar outside the gate. The prayerful bribing the priest. The priest accepting the bribe. Infinite variations acting upon His will. Are you going to change? Can you change another? Shamed, blamed, commended or recommended There is no race, no competition, no win and no loss. You are as you are And will be as you be In the body.