Our travel from Goa was by car and we travelled many miles of rural roads through out South India, ending in the large city of Bangalore. This trip was humbling in so very many ways. Most humbling for me, was the lesson that I am alone. Even when in the company of Holy people, the Oneness that pervades everything is in fact alone.
My experience during the temple tours was limited by a language barrier. It prevented me from being an active participant in most conversations and left me sitting quietly while the rest of the group enjoyed a good laugh. Still I tried to be present, but frequently fell prey to the workings of my own mind.
Repeated references to “foreigners” left me quite aware of how I was different from everyone else. Indians are a very friendly, but foreigners are not always welcome. Special permissions had to be obtained at some temples and two temples limited my access, making me stand in a separate area for darshan (vision of the deity). Rules for inclusion do not exist here.
Being separated and made to stand alone was the painful way presented for me to view my own ego. While going through it, I was overwhelmed by gut wrenching emotions. Inconsolable, the deflated and hurt ego had emerged. By the Grace of my Guru, I experienced the lesson of humility; the humbling lesson was that I am alone.
From the One we are fragmented, dropped into our shells and we think that we are many, but there is only One and that One is alone. In the material world, no matter where I stand or with whom, the One that is everything is ever present. Whether I am in a temple in India or in the living room of my home, the One does not change, my oneness does not change. God is with me always.
Being on the spiritual path is a blessing. There are many lessons to learn as I go forward. These lessons are tough and these lessons are revealing. In order to find the God in me, I have to get passed all the gatekeepers. It is by the Grace of my Guru that I move closer to the light.
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